Wednesday, April 29, 2009

need a job

I need a job. It's plain and simple, but very very true. I need a part time job that I can work at while I am in San Antonio from May 11-June 26 and I need a full time job when I move to Waco starting about mid-July! So if anyone knows something I don't know....spread the wealth, or information really! :)

At times I let this whole job search get me stressed and overwhelmed, but I keep telling myself to trust in God. I know he is going to provide for Blake and I, though it may be a hard road there. I have so cherished this time of faith and trusting in him. It's only by his grace that have made it thus far. Plus I'm graduating in about week! Which is amazing!! Never thought this day would come, but at the same time my time at ACU seemed like a sprint rather than a marathon! It went by so fast.

So anyways...I don't really have much more to write than the fact that I am an available and worthy employee looking for a position! :)


Monday, April 20, 2009

see my glory

Yesterday at church our pastor gave a really great sermon about the difference between serving God and Money. You know how there are those sermons that you feel like were meant especially for you? Well, yep....this was one of those for me.

While I'm not going to go into full detail about what the sermon talked about exactly, I am going to mention one point that he made that I felt hit me the hardest. He said that money says, "Show me the money", while God says, "See my glory." This simple statement spoke volumes to me. Lately I have been so wrapped up on focusing on getting a job to make money, having enough money to buy everything that I need for the wedding and planning the budget of the wedding that I have gotten to a point of almost serving money over God. I wouldn't have thought of it all this way a week ago, but this sermon really made it become clear.

I let my self get so worked up and stressed out about money situations that I forget to trust in the Lord for his guidance and support. I, like money, keep yelling "show me the money!" and through all of it God is whispering in my ear, "see my glory."

I will make every effort on a daily basis to trust in God and see His glory in my life and the life around me. For it is only by his grace that I have any blessings.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

life of love

It's amazing how in the midst of so much life and talk of birth there is a death. Just last post I was talking of a sweet families story to their precious baby in Ethiopia. Yesterday, I sat by the phone waiting to hear news of the birth of my sweet baby girl cousin. However, the only call I got yesterday was the call that my great-grandmother, Nonnie, had passed away.

It was something we've been preparing for, for a long time. But still, when you hear those words, your heart still skips a beat. My Nonnie had lived a long and beautiful life. She had a wealth of memories and bountiful family to show for it. Her husband, my PaPaw is going through a difficult time now as well, but had his prayers answered that she would go before him. What grace and humility is that! To be in prayer that she would not experience the pain of losing him, but go on before him in peace.

While I will miss my Nonnie greatly, I praise the Lord for the dancing and singing she is doing in Heaven with the Lord Jesus as we speak. And if anyone were to be dancing and singing in heaven, it'd be my Nonnie. Maybe even playing away at a baby grand.

Because this blog is a blog for my future marriage I can't help, but think of the marriage that my great-grandparents had. It may not have always been easy, but it lasted and there was true love. Like I said before, the desires of my PaPaw for my Nonnie to go first speaks volumes about the love he had for his wife. And my Nonnie shared just as much for him. Life is hard there right at the end. Seeing the love that they still shared until their dying day was breath taking. Or I should say breath catching as I wrote about in my last post. The love I have for Blake now is so strong and so real, but I can not wait to experience the love that we will have on our dying day. It is so strong and so incredible that the room permeates with it.

Its funny because people always say they see a couples love the strongest on their wedding day. And unfortunately, that might be true for many couples today. However, there is nothing on this earth like seeing a love that is 100x stronger than the love on a wedding day as a love on their dying day. Like Solomon's wisdom and David's might I pray to the Lord that Blake and I will share a love all our lives that grows and is an example for our children and grand children and great grand children.

I love you Nonnie and will miss you greatly, but I know I will see you again one day in heaven. I know it might be a long time for me before I go, but I know you'll still be dancing and singing. My Dad once told me that I remind him of you because of my love of bright and colorful shoes and fun sparkly jewelry. Well I'll be wearing both on my wedding day, and I know you'll be smiling down on me. I love you and thank the Lord for the amazing life you lived and the amazing love you showed.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

the prayers of a child

I have not shared any stories on here about other people, but I have a story that i must share with you all because it moved me so greatly.

Some dear friends of our family are in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. They just received her referral yesterday and are anxious to go and get her. They found out that she is only 3 months old and is severely malnourished. They found out that they are having special formula from the US shipped over to her that she needs to survive. The part that gives me chills and leaves me in awe is that at about the same time that the orphanage was trying to figure out what kind of formula she needed, her waiting sister here in the United States, who is only 3 years old, told her mother that they needed to pray for Aria (the baby in Ethiopia). She told her mother that Aria was crying and needed her milk and before the mother could respond the 3 year old sister broke into prayer and asked that the Lord would help Aria and send her the milk she needed.

Is that not incredible?! I read that story while at work and in the middle of work broke into tears. I was so moved by the power of the Lord and His amazing grace to provide for Aria in such a powerful way. To see the faith of the child in prayer providing for another child across the world.

I believe very very strongly in the power of prayer. When I think of someone, I haven't thought about in a while I immediately begin praying for them. Whether they are going through a difficult time or not at that time or in need of prayer I do not know. But I have always felt that if the Lord places someone random on my heart that I should pray for them.

I praise the Lord for his amazing grace and provision and the amazing things he is doing in this sweet family. I pray that he continues to protect little Aria and provide her with the needed nutrition and milk to continue to strengthen her.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

catching my breath

Many parts of the wedding are really beginning to sink in. This past weekend I went to get my dress fitted. Amazingly the fit and length were perfect! I hadn't gotten a chance to try it on before I got to the dress store and when I first ordered it the only size they had in stock was quite a bit bigger than what I wear. So I hadn't really gotten the full effect of what it would look like when it was meant for me. I have to say I am very very pleased! I love the dress. I've also been slowly putting together all the pieces....dress, jewelry, shoes, veil, etc. I still have not gotten the entire picture of what it will all look like together, but I have a better idea and am very happy!

I had a bit of a scare last week with what turned out to be a minor medical problem, easily fixed with antibiotics. But it sure did stress me out for about a day or two. Looking back now....knowing what I know now, I can't help but be in awe of God's grace and love. I have gotten so caught up in my schedule and planning, trying to make everything fit into the calendar just right. Even after graduation I will be super busy with wedding things and parties. I am super excited about it all, but am also having to closely manage my time. This potential medical problem was one of those times where I don't know how else to describe it but a "breath catching moment."

You can all probably relate to those types of moments. They are the kind that in the midst of your busy life and your going, going, going something huge happens and it literally takes your breath away or knocks the wind out of you...either for good or bad. While I prefer those moments that are good, it sometimes takes the bad to wake me up. Not that this situation was super bad or anything life threatening, but it was a big enough deal to really affect my life for the next few months. Praise the Lord for his wonderful provision.

To end on a joyful note...I love to think about those good "breath carthing moments." Here are just a few in no particular order:

- coming around the corner to read "Will you marry me Katie?"
- standing in the airport as I saw my baby sister for the first time
- rolling over in a car and realizing Blake and I are completely safe
- being accepted into ACU and receiving a scholarship
- standing outside the delivery room and hearing the doctor say, "it's a boy!" at my brother's birth
- coming into the living room on christmas morning and finding it covered in Barbies and Barbie clothes :)
- standing at the alter as a bridesmaid at my aunts wedding
- being asked to be Blake's girlfriend one late school night
- watching my dear friend become a mother to her sweet baby boy

There's tons more and I sure can't wait for hundreds to come in this life.

Monday, April 6, 2009

one of those moments...

So I just had one of those moments. Those moments that any woman would understand because all of us have them from time to time. I'm talking about one of those moments where life just hits you in the face and you need to have a good cry. :) BUT to clarify it wasn't a cry of hurt or pain or even sadness it was of overwhelming joy. I was looking at my Mom's blog and just looking through some pictures and I got emotional. They were pictures of my two beautiful pictures and I couldn't help but cry for joy. The Lord has greatly blessed me and many times I take that for granted.

My older of my younger sisters, Lexie, I will say with a very grateful heart has become, within the last couple of years, my best friend. When we were younger we did not always get along. I always loved her very dearly but there were those moments when we fought like sisters that I was slightly frustrated by her. Ok, I'll admit....very frustrated! But within the last 3-4 years we have grown closer and closer and she has become a very very dear friend to me. I look forward to our conversations together and the time we can spend together. There are those phone calls that we have where we just open our hearts and tell each other everything that is there. Even those things we wouldn't tell anyone else. And I so praise the Lord for those times. She has such a gentle spirit, but she is very passionate about those things that she believes in and for that I look up to her.

My other little sister, while only being my "official" little sister for almost a year now feels as if she has been my precious baby sister forever!! When we began the adoption process I always wondered what it would be like when building that relationship. I never doubted that I couldn't or wouldn't love her, but I wondered how different it would be. But I have to tell you that the moment I first laid eyes on her sweet face as she arrived to the airport and she was home I absolutely fell in love. I love that precious girl so very much and it hurts so much sometimes that I can't see her and hug her and love her every day. But I praise the Lord for the times that we do have together and the sweet conversations I have with her on the phone. (Though for now, they generally consist of her singing her ABC's and hanging up on me!) :)

All this to say that I love my two sisters so very much. And in about 2 and a half months I will be getting married and have a new sister. I love Chelsea very dearly already and can not wait to continue to develop the relationship that we have already began. She is very precious to me and I am very proud to call her my sister.

And the last thing that I must write about that was kind of the straw that broke the camels back on the flood of tears was the song playing on my mom's blog. It is called "Where I Land" and it is by JJ Heller. When I listened to the words I just cried and cried. They reminded me perfectly of Blake and how I feel when I am with him. Here are the lyrics and I have it playing on my blog now as well!

Where I Land

You’re different from the way I thought you’d be
But here you are in front of me
So full of light I watch it overflow
A lovely mystery

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve

You have a way of stirring up my soul
Did you know
When you hold me in your arms the way you do
It feels like coming home

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve
And when I cannot stand
You are where I land

And when the years have stolen youth away
I will stay
You will be the keeper of my heart
Until my final day