Saturday, March 28, 2009

Half way there!

I can hardly believe it.....yesterday marked the half way point from the day we got engaged to our wedding! Boy has time flown by. I know that is such cliché thing to say, but as I am getting older and big events are happening in my life I am feeling it more and more. As of now everything is officially "booked" for the wedding...which is a good feeling.

Some one was asking me the other day what my plans are for the summer and it was funny because I told her, "You know, my life is booked up until July 5 and after that I have absolutely no idea." And it's true....July 5 is when we get back from our honeymoon and on July 6 (as of now) I have no idea where I will be. Maybe San Antonio? Maybe Waco? Who knows. For those of you who don't know yet Bayl*r is pretty much for sure, for Blake. We've heard back from all the schools and none of them offered him a scholarship like Bayl*r did and he wants to study trial law, which they have the best.

I had another person ask me the other day, when finding out that Waco is where we would be, if I was ok with that. And it's funny because despite all the worrying, praying, hoping and dreaming that I have done about living everywhere else, but Waco....I am completely content with that. I think that over the last couple months the Lord knew that he needed to prepare my heart. And after all the waiting on him, being patient and fearing the unknown of the future, it feels so good to be able to "plan" our future in Waco.

While I still see that so much of it is in the Lord's hands, I can feel that he is allowing me to be the planner that I am and begin preparing for the road ahead. But I also come out of this time of my life as less of a control freak about my future and more of a person that desires only to follow God's will.....and it is good.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

FilmFest Awards!

I am just soooo proud of Blake and all of his friends who entered the movie "The Hunger" into this year's ACU FilmFest. Last night was the premiere and awards show and Blake won best writer as well as the film winning: best drama, best technical director, best director, best actress and best film overall! It was an exciting night!! Here's some photos. The first is of him and the other three guys that made the film and the second is the entire cast and crew!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

in 101, I'll marry the ONE who makes my life wONEderful

I like my catchy little title! :) I also used it as my facebook status. hehe

The invitations have been ordered. Dun dun dun!!!! haha It is really starting to hit home now. Not completely, but a little more than it had. I am sure one day (probably a day AFTER I am married) I am going to wake up and reality is going to just slap me across the face! And you know I'm pretty sure I will just close my eyes, smile and sigh! :)

We had our engagement photos taken over our break which was last week and I am pretty darn pleased with them. I just can't wait to do some editing on them. I should be getting some "web versions" from our photographer pretty soon and when I do I will post them on here and on our wedding website which is

Also....we are currently working on booking our honeymoon. It looks like it will be a cruise to New England/Canada leaving out of NY and we'll stay an extra night in NY so I can see the Big Apple!! I am soooooo excited!! Just pray it all works out and gets booked ok! The night we'd be in NY would be 4th of July too!!! Which, I think, would be sooooo cool!

Ok that's all for now....I might post later.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

His will, not mine

I am a planner. I like to have things planned out far in advance so that I will be completely ready for what to expect. I mean I know things can change last minute, but at least I have some kind of a security in knowing basically what the future holds. I am at a point in my life that really stresses me as a planner out, because I don't know the plan. I don't know where we will be living after we are married, I don't know what kind of a job I will have, I don't know what we will be living in be it a house or an apartment. I don't know so many things and quite frankly it terrifies me.

The longer I spend in this position of unknown the more I fret and the more antsy I get. Each day I struggle with dwelling on the unknown and each day the Lord teaches me that it is in the unknown that I will find Him and find His peace. I know God has a plan for me that is far greater than I could ever plan. It is far greater than even what I think that I need in my future.

So I am living in a time that we planners call a time of complete blindness, but in reality it is a time of complete faith. I trust in the Lord with all my heart that he will provide and yet at times my selfish will thinks it can take over and plan as it wants. Just tonight I spent about an hour searching every job search engine possible on the internet for photography, journalism, graphic design and media related jobs in Waco, TX. (Which is where my mind is wanting to say we will be just to have a "plan") Only time and again to find nothing, nada, zip! At a moment of pure frustration and the tears gathered in my eyes, because I couldn't just do it on my own, the Lord convicted me yet again.

The weight on my heart grew heavy as a felt the Lord saying that it is HE who will provide and it will be in HIS time, not mine. Now I will admit for most people they will simply sigh and say ok! But I just became overwhelmed. I wanted so bad for God to appear to me and just tell me what the future held. But he continued to break my stubborn spirit and show me his mercy.

I finally just exhaled, gave up my will and opened the Bible.....some what kamikaze style just landing on whatever passage I opened to. To my surprise I landed on the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. We all know the story, three guys given different amounts. The first two take it and make more and the last takes it and buries it. The master gives those that made more, more and took it all away from the one that just buried it.

I felt the Lord speaking to me in a new way through this parable. I felt as if he was saying that when I attempt to plan my life myself and take over my will I am like the man that buried his talent. God has so much more planned for me that is so much better, but I refuse and I bury it and never reap the benefit. If I would just allow the Lord to work through my life I will be like the man that had 2 and returned with 4 and in complete brokenness and willingness to serve I could then be like the 5 and returned with 10.

Anyways....this is a long post that I needed to write to clear my mind and work out the many thoughts in my head. Prayers are much appreciated through this time. I pray that the Lord continues to break my will and that I will seek constantly to follow his alone.